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My friend, David Foster, hits the nail on the head with this piece. Guys, read and take to heart.

I have a bone to pick, a frustration to voice and here it is. Where have all the men gone? I’m not talking about Neanderthals who drag their knuckles along the ground and beat up women and small children. I’m talking about good men, strong men, godly men; men who stand tall in the saddle.

I’m seeing way too many wimps and whiners; men who cop out and walk away at the first sign of trouble. So here is what I want to say to the men in America based upon what I see in them.

1. Do everything in moderation. Whether it’s business, sports, work, or exercise; the watchword is moderation. Everything is good in moderation. There’s nothing wrong with attending a football game, everything wrong with turning your car into a helmet. There’s nothing wrong with deer hunting. There’s everything wrong with neglecting the family budget in order to hunt. Exaggeration and going overboard are what gets us in trouble.

2. Sweat the small stuff. You hear people say glibly, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I say you do sweat the small stuff. That’s where integrity is won. That’s where trust is kept over time.

3. Fight for your marriage. I’m absolutely amazed at how many tough guys run away at the first sign of a marriage getting hard. Your wife nags you or something doesn’t go your way. You get frustrated and tired and you give it up. If you’re not going to fight for your marriage, what in the world will you fight for? And I might add, that’s worth fighting for. You fight for your job, you fight for your team, and you fight for your parking spot. You need to fight for your wife and your kids; to love them and take care of them, to be their hero, and to be there for them.

4. Stop whining. Yes, times could be better but this is a business cycle and if you’ve lived more than 20 years, you know that this has happened before and it will happen again. Things come and they go. Markets correct themselves. That’s the wonder of democracy in an open market. It’s called capitalism. It’s a good thing. You might even say, it’s a God thing. It’s the way life works. So stop whining about how bad things are. You’ve never seen them that bad. Well, you’re 25 years old. Look around at some guys who have a few scars and they’re still swinging. Stop whining and start working. Work hard. Work hard at something you’re good at. Work hard at something you’re good at and that matters.

5. Man up. This simply means be a man. Live up to your responsibilities. Be tough and strong, and most of all, smart. Real men don’t walk away or run away when the going gets tough. Man up.

6. You’re always one bad decision away from wrecking your life. We are people who get up after they’ve wrecked their lives and say, “I made some mistakes.” No, you made bad choices. Every decision has an effect on your future. The smallest thing can open you up for ethical, or moral failure from which you may never recover.

7. Your wife is not your mommy. You didn’t marry a maid or a housekeeper. You married a woman, a good woman, with strengths and talents and abilities who, in many ways, is far superior than you are. You don’t need a mama. You need a lover, a leader, and a good companion. Stop expecting your wife to do for you what your mama did and do it for yourself. Here’s a novel idea: start serving her and loving her. If you want a good example of that, go watch the new movie “Fireproof.” It illustrates it well.

Thanks, Dave, for telling it like it is.



  1. Sam,

    Thanks so much for this post. I realize that I’ve got some weaknesses in most of these areas lately and it was a great reminder and reality check and excellent advice to point me back in the right direction.


  2. Great list, and very true. He mentions Fireproof at the end of # 7. I heard its great, and cant wait to see it!

  3. So, if I don’t like wine, is NiQuil okay?…in moderation?

  4. And “moderation “is so subjective! 1 glass of wine for some equals a bottle for others and vice versa… least thats what I tell myself

  5. Perfect example I heard someone tell me this week.

    A young man gets pulled over for wreckless driving and gets a ticket. 1) He doesn’t have a job and refuses to get one. So he can’t pay that way. 2) He won’t man up and call his parents to ask for help, because that would mean telling them that he got pulled over for wreckless driving. 3) So what did he do? He talked his girlfriend into paying it. And she did! And she was happy about it!

    Men need to get back in touch with their stones and be men.

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