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This is a response from John Smid, former director of Love in Action and personal friend. 

It is certainly challenging for us all to live in an imperfect world with imperfect lives around imperfect people. I thank God each day for His grace which not only forgives, but it also erects boundaries that keep us safe and it also gives us the power to live each day for Him.

Ray’s story is all too familiar today. I have seen countless stories just like his. Sin has wrecked havoc in his life, the life of his wife and family. Ray is one of millions that have not been effectively discipled to understand Who God really is and who we really are.

I must say that all too often the formalized programs of many churches may do a great job of teaching scripture and informing its people of the “standards” that are thought to be wholly Christian.

I must also say that Christians have missed the mark in the area of relating to each other in honesty, integrity, and healthy connections.

Ray’s life and family is a statistic of bad theology, poor relationships. It is a result of plastic religion, a poor understanding of what it really means to “not forsake the assembly” and not living up to the true teaching of “Roman’s 1 and 2” which in summary is:
1. The digression of sin in all of our lives brings us exchange the truth of God for a lie.
2. “Agreeing with those who do” in our enabling of each other to an addictive level
3. Inappropriately and harshly judging one another without taking a good look at ourselves
4. Not loving God’s kindness as this is what leads us to repentance

What Ray needs is a good dose of God’s kindness! I can assure you that internally he is well aware of his fallen and broken state of being. Ray doesn’t need one more person to tell him why and how he is wrong!

His broken life is a reality for not only him, but for all of us.

Having left my wife and abandoned her and my children for the “lust of men” I understand to a large degree what Ray may be going through. I forsook my goals, life dreams, family relationships, and abused myself with other men.

It truly was God’s kindness that brought me to Him. Kindness through God’s people who were honest enough to not separate themselves from me, rather they related to my sin filled plight through their own stories of broken choices and the redemption that Jesus offers us.

I would recommend that we all take time after reading Ray’s story to seek God to show us how we have forsaken Him in our lives and turned to our own ways to medicate the brokenness of our lives. At one time or another, we have all “turned to our wicked ways” and needed the kindness of God.

It is my hope that you not hear in this writing permissiveness regarding homosexual behavior. I have seen thousands whose lives have been severely damaged by the actions of homosexual behavior. God’s heart is full of grief and weeping for Ray’s recent proclamation of sin. But even more so, He is broken hearted when any of us do not turn to Him for healing: “Where are you Adam?”

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2 Comments

  1. This was written by a friend of mine and I believe it worth a read as well. He is someone who has lived righteously for 20 years, is married and has three children. He was involved heavily in homosexuality and chose to follow the Lord’s truth, so he is speaking from a personal experience.

    Thanks for letting me know about Ray Boltz. I know his music well, as it has ministered to me over the years.

    I’m sorry he has gone through such turmoil over his sexuality. It grieves me when I know men and women are suffering with same sex attraction because it hurts and is so very painful.

    However, I also know that the Lord wants us to live righteously. I don’t know why some of us suffer with SSA (homosexuality). But I do know that some of us have to suffer with it, but suffer in the direction of obedience to the word of God.

    I would’ve counseled Ray to learn to reconcile his struggle with the word of God and to continue to love and honor the commitment he made to the Lord, his wife, and children. Once we make the commitment to marry and have children, the Lord asks us to honor our commitment.

    The Christian walk is often one of suffering and personal sacrifice. It can cost us personal loss and earthly pleasure. But the Lord promises us we won’t have to suffer alone. He is always with us and will never leave us. We also can have a joyous, fulfilling life in the midst of longing and possible discomfort. And the Lord can also heal our emotions and longings.

    But when we compromise His word to suit our feelings and passions, we deny the truth and the Lord won’t honor us if we do that.

    I attempt to adhere to the Bible at all personal cost. I will not compromise on what I know to be true, although I have tremendous compassion and love for Ray Boltz and his family.

  2. We all live a life of conflicting desires – whether they be homosexuality, laziness, gluttony, selfishness, or any other sin. Sin constantly beckons – wants to draw us in to a lifestyle that hurts and scars and destroys – and the Spirit of God calls us to live a life separate from those desires that would keep us from living in the fullness of Life with God.

    John Smid is right on when he wrote “The Christian walk is one of suffering and personal sacrifice. It can cost us personal loss and earthly pleasure.” Sin promises pleasure NOW in THIS MOMENT, with certain death as a final payment. A life in Christ asks for self-control and self-denial – even if we have those desires from the moment we are born – in order to find a life of FREEDOM.


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